Monday, August 17, 2009
What happened to the good ol' days?
Basically, it is a kazamommy panic day! I have been thinking of going private on the blog for quite awhile. Maybe I watch too much TV or read to much but really our world unfortunately just has a bunch of people that have issues and I really don't want our family to be at risk even just a little bit to these scary folk. There has been reports of blog pictures being hijacked and used for crazy things. Now, I know all two people, OK, maybe 9 that read my blog will be challenged by the fact that they will now have to "sign in" to read the blog but really, just write it on a post it note and stick it on the computer to remember. I will need everyone who reads the blog to send me your email. My email is hensley k hensley @ aim . com (take the spaces out when you actually email me) I think I know most of you that read this and will send you an invite as soon as I learn how to go private. It will just involve you clicking on the invite and then coming up with your user name and password. I will keep the blog public until August 31st and then go private. I mostly use this blog to share pictures with family and friends so I don't want to be paranoid anymore about what I post or what pictures I use.....I want you to enjoy them all so it will be easier with a private blog. Sorry, for the inconvenience but I have to agree with my kazamommy buddies....it's just not worth the risk! :) You can leave me your email in the comments or email me directly. If I do not know you in real life but you are a friend of a friend or a Kaz adoption family, I need a full resume and 3 references! Just kidding! But, I would like some additional info and frankly, if I can't see a clear verifiable connection to our story, I may have to decline. Sorry, but people just don't tell the truth anymore and I need to be confident that you are not a sneaky snake! :) I don't see this as too much of a problem because I don't feel all 9 of you are a threat at all! :) So long story, short....going private on August 31st, send in your email for an invite if you wish to follow the further adventures of the Kazmanian Devil!
Friday, August 14, 2009
To Kindergarten and Beyond.........
A new adventure for the Kazmanian Devil........
We started out the First day at McDonald's with a family breakfast and all out Kindergarten pep talk!
It looks like they are deep in prayer here.....maybe they were, I know I was! :)
In front of his new elementary school! He is so handsome although not too sure about all this. It was a bit chaotic around the school with all the parents taking pictures and such....we were just glad not to be the ONLY parents who wanted to do the geeky picture thing. :)
Me and my boy! He was getting ready to reach up and grab my face and kiss it. Such a smooshie mushie boy!
We took him to his room and found his cubby .....he was just not too sure about all this hoopla!
Daddy was giving the last big pep talk......
Mommy filling out the last papers and Nick READY TO START THE DAY! What a smile!
Our boy is in elementary school! He has cried a little in the mornings but overall, he likes school! Pat and I were a bit overwhelmed at all the parental activity the first day. Parents were everywhere taking pictures and getting their little ones to class. I actually was impressed by all the fathers there. I'm glad to know that we will be a school with both parents involved and glad to see that actually both parents WANT to be involved.
All day/week on facebook and in blogland, I have been reading ode's to the first day of Kindergarten. Lots of introspective and weepy moms speaking their hearts. I'm not sure sending him to K was any different than preschool for me except for the length of time he is gone from us. My stomach was churning in anticipation. How was he going to deal with it all? How would he behave? Is he going to cry? Am I going to cry? The unknown just freaks me out.
I don't think we had the "typical" parent feelings because simply, he has only been with us 2 and 1/2 years. There are no baby memories, no amazement of how fast time flew, no reminiscing with fellow moms about "remember when", etc. We don't have that kind of time flow and memory recall. I don't dwell on those facts because I had no control over them. I try to remember that those 3 years in the baby house for good or bad helped create the boy that we have today and I really love the boy that we have today.
I have to admit that I was a school junkie....always loved it, always will. I loved to learn and I loved my teachers. So, I was generally so excited for Nick. He loves to learn and now he can have almost 7 hours of a constant learning environment, new friends, and fun challenges. I am just so excited for him and that is where all the introspection comes for me.
I am overwhelmed and amazed at all our boy has accomplished in 2 1/2 short years.
*learned how to be a son and a part of a family
*learned how to belong to a group in a different capacity than in an orphanage
*learned how to be a member of society at the store, in church, in school, etc
*learned how to speak a new language and new way of communicating
*learned how to receive nutrition in a non institutional and unregulated way
*learned how to be a friend
*learned how to play and pretend
*learned how to spontaneously laugh and to recognize fun and joyful moments
*learned how to be safe and avoid danger
*learned how give and receive affection and love
*learned how to swim
*learned about God's love and His hand in all of our lives
*learned to develop a love for books and reading
*learned to apologize and also to forgive
I think I could go on and on but you get the idea. This boy has done amazing things in almost 2 1/2 years.....sure all kids learn those things but he had to do it in half the time to be ready for Kindergarten. AND, he is starting on time at 5 1/2! We feel so blessed. We know so many adoptive and biological parents that have struggled so much more to get where we were this week and I just feel thankful. The potential and infinite possibilities that I hope our boy will be able to fulfill in the coming years gives me chills and tears most days! It is these kind of days...big days...that make me ponder for a short time the "what ifs"....
what if we had chosen fertility treatments over adoption
what if we had said, NO, we really want an infant.....he's too old
what if we had chosen the other child
what if we had decided not to pursue being parents
what if we had chosen Russia, China, or Guatemala
I know God would have had blessings and trials for us in any or all of those situations had we chosen them instead but God chose for our lives to cross with Nick's and we are all forever changed........ us by the journey and Nick by no longer remaining an orphan. It is the thought that another "Nick" or "Nicole" full of potential, full of love, full of worth may not get the same chance as our Nick did that haunts me. When I look at Nick's picture in front of the school, I think of them and then I cry. So my tears are flowing but not necessarily for the same reason as most other moms. I am honored and humbled to have crossed paths with Nick by God's grace but I am also brought to my knees in pain and conviction about the others.
Our church has been discussing what we as Christians are really called to do here on earth. They have been talking about "IT". What is IT for each of us that makes us more like Jesus, that causes us to take risks, to LOVE deeper and sacrifice more. Our pastor has called us to make a difference in Kentucky, the US and the World.......we are called to feed the hungry, clothe the poor, house the homeless and take care of the orphans....father the fatherless. Do we need the latest techno gadget, biggest house, fastest car, best schools, coolest clothes to be like Jesus to others? I say absolutely not. When are we going to get a clue? If we all decided to take on God's call to us then what would happen? Would we wipe out hunger, would everyone have a place to sleep at night, would there be no orphans who aged out of the system with nowhere to go but the street or crime, would one more "Nick" go to Kindergarten just like everyone else with mom and dad taking pictures and whispering I love you as you backed out of the doorway.....WHAT IF? I don't know at this point if we will adopt again but I know our hearts have forever been changed toward orphan care. We can make a difference, we DID make a difference in one life, one kindergartners life.......how many more can we help/love/serve? Yep, that's the stuff I thought about this week as my boy went to school, what about you? :)
We started out the First day at McDonald's with a family breakfast and all out Kindergarten pep talk!
It looks like they are deep in prayer here.....maybe they were, I know I was! :)
In front of his new elementary school! He is so handsome although not too sure about all this. It was a bit chaotic around the school with all the parents taking pictures and such....we were just glad not to be the ONLY parents who wanted to do the geeky picture thing. :)
Me and my boy! He was getting ready to reach up and grab my face and kiss it. Such a smooshie mushie boy!
We took him to his room and found his cubby .....he was just not too sure about all this hoopla!
Daddy was giving the last big pep talk......
Mommy filling out the last papers and Nick READY TO START THE DAY! What a smile!
Our boy is in elementary school! He has cried a little in the mornings but overall, he likes school! Pat and I were a bit overwhelmed at all the parental activity the first day. Parents were everywhere taking pictures and getting their little ones to class. I actually was impressed by all the fathers there. I'm glad to know that we will be a school with both parents involved and glad to see that actually both parents WANT to be involved.
All day/week on facebook and in blogland, I have been reading ode's to the first day of Kindergarten. Lots of introspective and weepy moms speaking their hearts. I'm not sure sending him to K was any different than preschool for me except for the length of time he is gone from us. My stomach was churning in anticipation. How was he going to deal with it all? How would he behave? Is he going to cry? Am I going to cry? The unknown just freaks me out.
I don't think we had the "typical" parent feelings because simply, he has only been with us 2 and 1/2 years. There are no baby memories, no amazement of how fast time flew, no reminiscing with fellow moms about "remember when", etc. We don't have that kind of time flow and memory recall. I don't dwell on those facts because I had no control over them. I try to remember that those 3 years in the baby house for good or bad helped create the boy that we have today and I really love the boy that we have today.
I have to admit that I was a school junkie....always loved it, always will. I loved to learn and I loved my teachers. So, I was generally so excited for Nick. He loves to learn and now he can have almost 7 hours of a constant learning environment, new friends, and fun challenges. I am just so excited for him and that is where all the introspection comes for me.
I am overwhelmed and amazed at all our boy has accomplished in 2 1/2 short years.
*learned how to be a son and a part of a family
*learned how to belong to a group in a different capacity than in an orphanage
*learned how to be a member of society at the store, in church, in school, etc
*learned how to speak a new language and new way of communicating
*learned how to receive nutrition in a non institutional and unregulated way
*learned how to be a friend
*learned how to play and pretend
*learned how to spontaneously laugh and to recognize fun and joyful moments
*learned how to be safe and avoid danger
*learned how give and receive affection and love
*learned how to swim
*learned about God's love and His hand in all of our lives
*learned to develop a love for books and reading
*learned to apologize and also to forgive
I think I could go on and on but you get the idea. This boy has done amazing things in almost 2 1/2 years.....sure all kids learn those things but he had to do it in half the time to be ready for Kindergarten. AND, he is starting on time at 5 1/2! We feel so blessed. We know so many adoptive and biological parents that have struggled so much more to get where we were this week and I just feel thankful. The potential and infinite possibilities that I hope our boy will be able to fulfill in the coming years gives me chills and tears most days! It is these kind of days...big days...that make me ponder for a short time the "what ifs"....
what if we had chosen fertility treatments over adoption
what if we had said, NO, we really want an infant.....he's too old
what if we had chosen the other child
what if we had decided not to pursue being parents
what if we had chosen Russia, China, or Guatemala
I know God would have had blessings and trials for us in any or all of those situations had we chosen them instead but God chose for our lives to cross with Nick's and we are all forever changed........ us by the journey and Nick by no longer remaining an orphan. It is the thought that another "Nick" or "Nicole" full of potential, full of love, full of worth may not get the same chance as our Nick did that haunts me. When I look at Nick's picture in front of the school, I think of them and then I cry. So my tears are flowing but not necessarily for the same reason as most other moms. I am honored and humbled to have crossed paths with Nick by God's grace but I am also brought to my knees in pain and conviction about the others.
Our church has been discussing what we as Christians are really called to do here on earth. They have been talking about "IT". What is IT for each of us that makes us more like Jesus, that causes us to take risks, to LOVE deeper and sacrifice more. Our pastor has called us to make a difference in Kentucky, the US and the World.......we are called to feed the hungry, clothe the poor, house the homeless and take care of the orphans....father the fatherless. Do we need the latest techno gadget, biggest house, fastest car, best schools, coolest clothes to be like Jesus to others? I say absolutely not. When are we going to get a clue? If we all decided to take on God's call to us then what would happen? Would we wipe out hunger, would everyone have a place to sleep at night, would there be no orphans who aged out of the system with nowhere to go but the street or crime, would one more "Nick" go to Kindergarten just like everyone else with mom and dad taking pictures and whispering I love you as you backed out of the doorway.....WHAT IF? I don't know at this point if we will adopt again but I know our hearts have forever been changed toward orphan care. We can make a difference, we DID make a difference in one life, one kindergartners life.......how many more can we help/love/serve? Yep, that's the stuff I thought about this week as my boy went to school, what about you? :)
Monday, August 3, 2009
Fever, Trauma, and Drama........
I'm not one to get into the drama of it all but our lives have been quite a saga for the last month. We are slowly regaining normalcy in our lives....whatever that is!
My fever which started around July 6th and lasted thru a hospitalization 3 weeks later has basically been a fever of unknown origin. We tested for just about everything. My liver enzymes were elevated which was the confusing factor. They were stuck on Hepatitis B for several weeks which delayed other tests but we have now moved on to checking for auto immune hepatitis. Now, that I am feeling better, my guess is that we will never know what caused either problem. I see a GI/liver focused doctor today and I am expecting a "well, we just don't know" answer but at this point, I can accept that answer. I did find out that I may be seeing a doctor that I worked with alot during my research dietitian days. He was a very nice guy but it will be weird...hopefully, helpful too since I know him, but we shall see.....
In the midst of all my fever/fatigue and generally feeling like a truck ran over me issues, Pat had his own medical saga. He came home from work complaining of chest pain and pain under his arm. Now, neither of us are alarmists by nature, especially Pat, but we were alarmed! He has a strong family history for heart events and well, we just didn't want to risk anything! So he headed to the ER. I was feeling really bad at this point and really didn't want to go to the hospital and get more germs so my dear friend Laurie delayed her vacation and came over to sit with me until we found out if he was having a heart attack or not. If yes, then she would stay with Nick, if No, then she would head out. We did not hear anything for a long time so she finally drove me to the ER so I could check on him (yes, we could have called but we only live 3 miles from the hospital). I went in to check on him and found out that he did not seem to have had an event but during the check out stage, they had given him nitro and then stood him up which caused him to black out and fall and hit his head and tush. Luckily, he did not hit his head too hard or maybe his head was too hard! ;) The bad luck involved his rear....he took all of his weight directly on his coccyx apparently and STILL 3 weeks later has trouble sitting for long periods of time. He could barely walk around for the first few days. They did an incident report but no xrays. There is not much you can do for a coccyx (tailbone) injury so he has just grinned (not so much) and bore it! Bless his heart (which thankfully checked out healthy). We had to just laugh but it was not fun....we are blaming his heart ailment on added stress of the sick mamma!
And, last but not least, Drama....of course that involves Nick! hee,hee!
He has definitely been a trooper thru this whole saga but we have had lots of "drama". He has no problems getting his feelings out when things are unsure around him. The day I went into the hospital was on the Friday of the first week of spanish camp. I came home from the dr. and told Pat that they wanted to admit me. Nick was just getting ready to get in his blow up pool. He was a little upset to stop what he was doing and Pat tried to explain that we were going to take me to the hospital so I could get better. While we were getting stuff together, he was just walking around and I heard him say from upstairs, "I'm a little worried about my mommy" and then in the car, he said, "I'm just really confused". I'm telling you, I just wanted to BOO HOO for traumatizing my sweet boy. He sounded so worried and so innocently concerned. He was understandably overstimulated at the hospital with all the bells and whistles so they did not stay long after I got to my room. He just got the biggest crocodile tears in his eyes and held onto me and said, "I'm going to miss you so much"....It absolutely was torture! Our friends swooped in to help and keep him distracted so I don't think the mental torture will be long-lasting, at least for him! ;) He did awesome at spanish camp although my hospitalization messed with his ability to be dropped off easily. He did NOT want me to leave him after I got home from the little stay in the hospital. He would cry big tears and hang on to me. Broke my heart!!! His teachers allowed him to call me at home and "check" on me that second week. He learned so much in those short two weeks that I can't imagine how much he is going to learn in Kindergarten and he really picks up the spanish quickly! Being young is such an advantage to learning a language! I am a little worried how he will use his second language to annoy us after our dramatic doctor visit yesterday. He had his 5 year old check up and because we had earlier that morning visited his new classroom, he had a bit of an overstimulated attitude going. He did not want to leave his fun classroom to go to the doctor so he decided to "take control". He was "hands on" everything from the time we walked in the clinic. I was literally trying to wrangle the Kazmanian devil. I think that it appears to those who don't "know" Nick that I am a docile mom but really when he gets like this, you just have to survive. He did lots of impromptu timeouts in whatever chair I could find but short of Duct taping his mouth, I cannot control what comes out at the moment....I ignore alot! I am sure it is shocking to most, heck, it is shocking to me. A Dr. Jekyll/Mr Hyde transformation is never fun for anyone. I just happen to know it will be fine when I get him home in a "known" environment with "known" parameters and "known" consequences. So, the funny story comes when he is being a "brat" and not answering any of the doctors questions. He was not being cooperative AT ALL. She was asking him his colors. He would not answer her. I told him that he needed to stop this behavior and answer her so in his most timid but hiding all out rebellion voice, I hear him start answering her in SPANISH! Yes, my little 5 year old decided that he would not come under the control of these two adults and still do it HIS WAY. So I hear Amarillo come out of his mouth for yellow and then Rojo for red and it took everything in me not to laugh as I explained to the Dr. that he was answering correctly but in spanish. We are sooo in trouble as he gets older...this boy is strong-willed and extremely smart!! :) Lucky for him, he is the cutest boy ever! He had so many consequences to serve once he got home that I had to list them! He paid his dues and then was fine the rest of the day....just like I figured he would be...... parenting is an adventure. Now, if I can just get over worrying about what others think of my parenting skills....ugh!
So, I can't end the long boring up-to-date post without a brief happy side-note about our visit from Cincy Karen and Max. Boy, we love those peeps! I love my Karens.....whenever I am with them,it is like being with a friend you have known forever. Maybe God arranged it so we would all be named Karen thus creating an immediate weird kinship but the rest is just pure fun. Not only do we have our Kazboys in common but we really enjoy each others company. Cincy brought me the best donuts and besides way too much sugar, I really did feel better at the end of the day. The boys are so cute together. Nick called Max his "brother" several times and I will steal a few pics from Cincy because they are so darn cute and sweet!
Kindergarten starts tomorrow.....stay tuned!!!!!
My fever which started around July 6th and lasted thru a hospitalization 3 weeks later has basically been a fever of unknown origin. We tested for just about everything. My liver enzymes were elevated which was the confusing factor. They were stuck on Hepatitis B for several weeks which delayed other tests but we have now moved on to checking for auto immune hepatitis. Now, that I am feeling better, my guess is that we will never know what caused either problem. I see a GI/liver focused doctor today and I am expecting a "well, we just don't know" answer but at this point, I can accept that answer. I did find out that I may be seeing a doctor that I worked with alot during my research dietitian days. He was a very nice guy but it will be weird...hopefully, helpful too since I know him, but we shall see.....
In the midst of all my fever/fatigue and generally feeling like a truck ran over me issues, Pat had his own medical saga. He came home from work complaining of chest pain and pain under his arm. Now, neither of us are alarmists by nature, especially Pat, but we were alarmed! He has a strong family history for heart events and well, we just didn't want to risk anything! So he headed to the ER. I was feeling really bad at this point and really didn't want to go to the hospital and get more germs so my dear friend Laurie delayed her vacation and came over to sit with me until we found out if he was having a heart attack or not. If yes, then she would stay with Nick, if No, then she would head out. We did not hear anything for a long time so she finally drove me to the ER so I could check on him (yes, we could have called but we only live 3 miles from the hospital). I went in to check on him and found out that he did not seem to have had an event but during the check out stage, they had given him nitro and then stood him up which caused him to black out and fall and hit his head and tush. Luckily, he did not hit his head too hard or maybe his head was too hard! ;) The bad luck involved his rear....he took all of his weight directly on his coccyx apparently and STILL 3 weeks later has trouble sitting for long periods of time. He could barely walk around for the first few days. They did an incident report but no xrays. There is not much you can do for a coccyx (tailbone) injury so he has just grinned (not so much) and bore it! Bless his heart (which thankfully checked out healthy). We had to just laugh but it was not fun....we are blaming his heart ailment on added stress of the sick mamma!
And, last but not least, Drama....of course that involves Nick! hee,hee!
He has definitely been a trooper thru this whole saga but we have had lots of "drama". He has no problems getting his feelings out when things are unsure around him. The day I went into the hospital was on the Friday of the first week of spanish camp. I came home from the dr. and told Pat that they wanted to admit me. Nick was just getting ready to get in his blow up pool. He was a little upset to stop what he was doing and Pat tried to explain that we were going to take me to the hospital so I could get better. While we were getting stuff together, he was just walking around and I heard him say from upstairs, "I'm a little worried about my mommy" and then in the car, he said, "I'm just really confused". I'm telling you, I just wanted to BOO HOO for traumatizing my sweet boy. He sounded so worried and so innocently concerned. He was understandably overstimulated at the hospital with all the bells and whistles so they did not stay long after I got to my room. He just got the biggest crocodile tears in his eyes and held onto me and said, "I'm going to miss you so much"....It absolutely was torture! Our friends swooped in to help and keep him distracted so I don't think the mental torture will be long-lasting, at least for him! ;) He did awesome at spanish camp although my hospitalization messed with his ability to be dropped off easily. He did NOT want me to leave him after I got home from the little stay in the hospital. He would cry big tears and hang on to me. Broke my heart!!! His teachers allowed him to call me at home and "check" on me that second week. He learned so much in those short two weeks that I can't imagine how much he is going to learn in Kindergarten and he really picks up the spanish quickly! Being young is such an advantage to learning a language! I am a little worried how he will use his second language to annoy us after our dramatic doctor visit yesterday. He had his 5 year old check up and because we had earlier that morning visited his new classroom, he had a bit of an overstimulated attitude going. He did not want to leave his fun classroom to go to the doctor so he decided to "take control". He was "hands on" everything from the time we walked in the clinic. I was literally trying to wrangle the Kazmanian devil. I think that it appears to those who don't "know" Nick that I am a docile mom but really when he gets like this, you just have to survive. He did lots of impromptu timeouts in whatever chair I could find but short of Duct taping his mouth, I cannot control what comes out at the moment....I ignore alot! I am sure it is shocking to most, heck, it is shocking to me. A Dr. Jekyll/Mr Hyde transformation is never fun for anyone. I just happen to know it will be fine when I get him home in a "known" environment with "known" parameters and "known" consequences. So, the funny story comes when he is being a "brat" and not answering any of the doctors questions. He was not being cooperative AT ALL. She was asking him his colors. He would not answer her. I told him that he needed to stop this behavior and answer her so in his most timid but hiding all out rebellion voice, I hear him start answering her in SPANISH! Yes, my little 5 year old decided that he would not come under the control of these two adults and still do it HIS WAY. So I hear Amarillo come out of his mouth for yellow and then Rojo for red and it took everything in me not to laugh as I explained to the Dr. that he was answering correctly but in spanish. We are sooo in trouble as he gets older...this boy is strong-willed and extremely smart!! :) Lucky for him, he is the cutest boy ever! He had so many consequences to serve once he got home that I had to list them! He paid his dues and then was fine the rest of the day....just like I figured he would be...... parenting is an adventure. Now, if I can just get over worrying about what others think of my parenting skills....ugh!
So, I can't end the long boring up-to-date post without a brief happy side-note about our visit from Cincy Karen and Max. Boy, we love those peeps! I love my Karens.....whenever I am with them,it is like being with a friend you have known forever. Maybe God arranged it so we would all be named Karen thus creating an immediate weird kinship but the rest is just pure fun. Not only do we have our Kazboys in common but we really enjoy each others company. Cincy brought me the best donuts and besides way too much sugar, I really did feel better at the end of the day. The boys are so cute together. Nick called Max his "brother" several times and I will steal a few pics from Cincy because they are so darn cute and sweet!
Kindergarten starts tomorrow.....stay tuned!!!!!
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