Spring is for new beginnings....so here we go!

I love quilts! I have always loved quilts. The new header is made with photographs from a quilt in our guestroom from my Grandmother's collection. Nick has a forest themed one on his bed and we have a quilt too. People don't often know that about me but deep down inside I would like to be a quilter, a seamstress and a knitter. I love watching projects come together. Being a task oriented person, I like to see the start, middle and finish.....accomplished! I remember my mom sewing our dresses, shirts, etc. She would cut the patterns, measure, sew, try it on, rip out a seam here or there, start over, even sit it on the machine for a while when other things were a priority, but she almost always finished a project.



I loved seeing the finished project, even more, I was proud to wear what she had sometimes labored late into the night to make me for such and such occasion. At least in my early youth, I proudly wore "mom" originals vs. JC Penney or Sears. I think my mom enjoyed sewing for us.....you find the pattern, envision it on your kid, purchase it, create it, finish it and then enjoy your work. I love that imagery.



David wrote that God is that kind of creator.....He formed our inward parts and wove us in our mother's womb, fearfully and wonderfully made us. He has a vision for us, a plan. Just like a pattern that is cut out, pinned down, and then sewed together, our life unfolds and is pieced together by the God of the universe. I think that is why I like quilts. Pieces from all cuts of fabric put together in a way that forms something even more beautiful. Just like our lives in God's hands.



I don't think when I graduated from high school a mere 25 years ago, YIKES, that I could have ever imagined the quilt that my life would become.....many colleges, many states, many jobs, married at 35, adopt a son at 39 and so on. I had it all patterned out, I thought my quilt, my life would have looked you know, more "normal" but really what does that mean? I wouldn't trade one bend in the road, one mountain climbed, one trial or one tear to get to the life I have now. (well, maybe a few weight battles I could have done without but I digress...) I had lots of dreams, lots of plans, lots of desires that I was ready to accomplish. Some have changed, some have yet to be fulfilled, and some have been accomplished.




I found the verse that I had my sweet friend and blog designer Kim put on the side when I was thinking on our new journey. A desire accomplished is sweet to the soul. There have been lots of things that I have desired or wanted over the years. Some of them I made happen.... like singing do-re-mi on the same steps that Julie Andrews sang on in Austria, check, going to Oberammergau, Germany for the Passion play, check, Ireland, check (yes, most of them involved travelling), but the other desires were just completely a God thing..... a husband, way better than I could have dreamed up, and Children.....now this is where it gets good.



You see I have always wanted to adopt as long as I can remember. I have always known people who adopted and who had been adopted. I especially remember babysitting these 2 little girls who were so sweet and so beautiful and they were both adopted. I remember some kind of ministry presentation that their parents gave regarding adoption and their birth country. I begged my parents to adopt after that....I said I would help my mom take care of the baby...please,please! Yeah, that didn't happen....my parents probably thought I was a little off my rocker but I never lost my heart, my desire, to adopt. I used to say I was going to adopt all the kids from the Jesus loves the little children song....red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight....that song is sooo politically incorrect now but they are still precious in His sight. Fast forward many, many years (way more than I expected) to Pat and I deciding that it was time for parenthood. Of course, we figured it would happen the old-fashioned way and when it didn't, they almost immediately send you to fertility specialist because, well, we were "old". I can honestly say from the very first meeting with the Doctor, we were ill at ease. I knew that God was in control of my womb and He could figure all "that " stuff out, we frankly were not that worried about it. Now, it is not that we were not a little sad that we were not going to immediately have an unusually tall, red-head running around but it just seemed OK to us. I think I even knew at that point that God was going to help me fulfill my desire to adopt.



We (well, really I...cuz that's how we women roll) started stalking the internet for adoption sites, waiting children, and THEN.....dun,dun,dun!!! I discovered blogs! Stories after stories of adoptive families taking their journeys to and from some land afar. I became a little obsessive, ok, alot obsessive with google searches and the internet. I searched far and wide for an agency that went to the country where the two little girls were from that I cared for so many years ago when this desire started but their country was closed to adoptions. Here is where God is so fun, you see, I had this weird high school and college fascination with the "USSR". I don't have the foggiest where that one began but I always wanted to travel there and learn to speak Russian, etc. It may have even started as early as elementary school when I played a Russian dancer while we sang silent night in Russian. I got to wear a real Russian hat that we borrowed from a lady who had actually been there. I remember my dad telling me that I couldn't go there because he worked for McDonnell Douglas on a proprietary program and they wouldn't let his family members go there. Cold war and all. Of course, I was even more intrigued! ha! Fast forward 20 some years later and the agency we had chosen highly recommended a former soviet republic, in fact the largest of the former republics, Kazakhstan. Oh, yeah, and we were going to have to learn Russian as well as Kazakh to speak to our child and get around. Is God amazing or what!? He even cares about those desires we think are just silly or unattainable.



So, fast forward again to 3 years later and we are starting to "think" that we might expand our family once more (again, the age thing is killin us....about to age out of the system in a few years...well, at least Pat is, ha!) and you know what, that first country that was closed is now, 3 years later, OPEN! That country is Ecuador and yes, family and friends, we are adopting again. We are done with the first stages (homestudy, etc) and now begin the dossier paper chase to adopt one older (3-6 most likely) boy or girl or (big breath, and panic look from Pat) possibly a sibling set of 2 from South America...Ay caramba! and I say, A desire accomplished is sweet to the soul! I will do another post on all the amazing "coincidences" (NOT!) that have occured to confirm our journey to Ecuador but that will take another whole evening to unload!



I feel so blessed and although we are scared silly to open up our family again to the chaos, the pain, the heartache that is adoption. The flip side of adoption is the most amazing, joy and laughter filled, tear-invoking journey we have ever experienced so we are ready to face the challenge. I have never encountered a journey that will show you the heart of God and His love for us like adoption. I tell you it will change you forever.



So, on to the mundane, our lives are filled with paperwork and more paperwork; Nick is excited to welcome a brother or sister. At first he wanted a brother but now he comments regularly on both.....using And instead of Or. He comes up with names weekly, we have just moved from Nathan to Butch and the girls names have been Rainbow, and Snowflake and one I can't remember but it was equally as "hippie" because I said that and then had to explain what "hippie" was to Nick which probably is why I can't remember what he originally said. I will say we have seen a few behavior changes in Nick that could possibly be related to the pending changes but we have already scheduled some meetings with a counselor who specializes in attachment and adoption so that we stay ahead of the game while we are in the process.



For any of the inquiring minds who "want to know", Ecuador is a Hague-country which basically means extra paperwork but all in all the requirements were developed for the safety of the children which can't be all that bad, can it? We shall see..... Funny enough, Ecuador is a long stay country too. We have been told up to 8 weeks! There is really only one agency, maybe two who are allowed to adopt out of Ecuador and they came highly recommended. Ecuador mostly places older children internationally which is fine with us. We are just way past the baby thing....although, we are not discounting the whole Abraham and Sarah thing....God is able. We just would like to be able to attend their graduations without a walker! ;) We will get a referral this time and be a little more "in the know" for this adoption. Not as many surprises in the age and gender categories but of course, there are always surprises in adoption. Once the dossier is done, we were given a big expected time frame of 3-18 months. We are good with that range either way. Second time around some of those things don't seem nearly as worrisome especially because we know time lines and dates mean absolutely nothing in the world of adoption.....can I get an Amen! from the crowd! ;)



I did not blog this early along in the process to adopt Nick so this will be a new one for me. Hopefully, you will join us in prayer for our journey and our chid(ren) who wait for us. We are going to go public again for a few months to allow some new readers to join the journey (and to get them adjusted to this whole blog thing) but we will go private again once things get rolling.



Sorry, this was so long but I wanted to get the whole thing down in writing for remembrance purposes. I really love to look back and see all the pieces falling into place just as God planned.....now onto the next piece of our quilt! By the way, I found our family friends in STL that I babysat for on FB and they and the "girls" (all grown up and married!) are planning to follow the journey with us....how cool is that!