Waiting, and more waiting..........

Most of my tips will relate best to Kazakhstan adoption but I would suppose some could be transferred over to any international adoption.

While you wait………..
1. Walk and climb stairs…….you will do a lot of this in Kaz……some of you will do it in the snow and ice!


2. Start watching for sales on any of the many things on your “list” for travel. Ask other adoptive families if they had anything left over if they have gone recently (ie. Scabies/lice medicine) It is expensive and probably will not have expired.


3. Check out kid consignment shops or garage sales. Toys, clothes, winter gear, etc. could be purchased cheaply and then left in the country for the orphanage or any of the people that you meet during your stay.


4. Talk to your bank about the “new money” early enough so that they can order it. We used two different banks who asked for about 2 weeks notice and then we kept it in our safety deposit box until we left. Shop around for the horizontal money belts so your money can lay flat and not folded. Ours were cloth and zippers were plastic so no bells and whistles went off when going thru airport.



5. Start a blog! This was the best way for people to know what we were doing and then they could comment back to us easily also. It was our lifeline. Many people are going private now but that would just take extra work ahead of time to get everyone invited before you go. Very do-able in the waiting time. Learn how to use all of your techno stuff before you go. Take a memory stick/jump drive so you can transfer to internet café computers if necessary. Our computer did not work at the cafes in our town so we had to use theirs. It was no problem since we had the stick. Your computer access will depend greatly on where you end up. We did not have access in our apartment but had a nice internet café near the orphanage.


6. Read other blogs ……this is a no brainer but it helps so much just to see all of the different experiences.


7. Spend time with friends and family and take extra trips or date nights. Waiting is hard so just distract yourselves by enjoying the great support systems that you have in place. If this is a first child, hang out with children that might be similar in age so that you can see how children interact, behave, etc. Besides the time in Kaz, you will not be able to jump right back into the social scene when you get home so enjoy the “free time” while you have it!


8. Read, Read, Read! All of that stuff your agency or home study people give you will be invaluable in bonding and getting to know your new little one. I was on the internet constantly trying to learn about attachment, RAD, etc.


9. Start learning the language (there are some great basic Kazakh and Russian guides on this website (http://kazakhadoptivefamilies.com/) We also used The Idiots guide to Russian…has a lot of basic daily phrases. I think learning their alphabet, numbers (at least 1-10), directional type words (right, left, straight) are all helpful.


10. Showers/Parties…….Most of us go blind to Kaz so this can be a hard one. People want to do something but at best you will know gender and age range. I told everyone no showers until we got back. If I had to do it over again (and maybe we will), I would throw out ideas like a “travel list” shower. We had to spend so much money on “the list”……meds, toiletries, snacks, travel games, DVD, books…. It would have been a tremendous blessing to get Target cards, Wal-mart cards, or just a shower where everyone brings one of the dozen or more baby/travel meds that they recommend you take. You can spend hundreds of dollars just getting “the list” stuff alone. I also think a restaurant gift card shower would be fun for before (who can cook great meals when you are running around like crazy in those weeks before the trip) and after, when you are trying to keep the amount of people visiting your house down to a minimum but would still like some easy access to hot meals. If people want suggestions on what to give a family that has no idea who they are coming home with……tell them photo packages to a good studio in town, gift cards, (depending on age) year memberships to local children’s museum, zoo, waterpark, etc.. These are great gifts for groups to go in on and are good for any age and size!

Stay tuned for next installment…….”what not to take! ”