Our first visit!

Today Abe and Sarah came to play.  Their current foster family had doctor's appt so we got to babysit! To say everything was surreal is an understatement.  It very much felt like Kazakhstan.  One minute you are hanging out, the next, you have two little people looking at you like ....who in the world are you and why are those other people leaving me here?

It's kind of like a first date...very awkward. Even writing about it is awkward because you can't really describe the feeling to those who haven't experienced it first hand.  As we sat in the floor and just looked at them and played with them, your heart just breaks.  Sarah is skinny, really skinny and only crawling at almost 19 months.   There are obvious signs of neglect.  Abe at 9 months has no muscle control ....think 3 months or less physically.  They both have the visual signs of laying lots of hours on their backs.  Sarah, at first, did not utter a sound, just big tears would develop in her eyes and it was as if she was crying without sound. Reminded me of Nick.  But, boy, were they precious. Both with stunning blue eyes that connected with you when they knew you were paying attention to them, really seeing them.  I could feel it.  The connection. Although, attachment has been a journey with Nick, I remember feeling this connection with him.  It's not like love at first site, or oh, we are meant to be.  It's just like, we are going to journey together you and I, so let's go.

I got a little teary thinking about how hard it would be to carry babies around all day even with the ergo.  It scares me.  My back doesn't like me to carry lots of weight and well, I need to lose some weight of my own.  I'm sure there will be an adjustment stage as my body regulates to the new norm but I couldn't help get excited to think about our day to day activities to attach, bond and catch up developmentally.  When I nannied, I pretty much got to play all day and interact with the kids and fortunately, we have slowed our life down enough that I will get lots of playtime with the Littles too. I love to think about creating positive neuropathways that Nick didn't get his first 3 years and trying to give them some of the sensory gifts that I couldn't give Nick.  It all feels so right.  I mean, you can't tell me God hasn't picked just the right family to nurture them right now. They just called in First steps so that they will have therapists and nutrition intervention quickly thru the state......and then there would be Pat and the rehab science departments at our fingertips and  well there is that whole dietitian degree that I have. ;)  I cannot wait to tell Abe and Sarah how much God loves them...... so much that He uniquely equipped this home just for them.

We are going to try and see them again this weekend so Nick can meet them.  Our plan is to still transition them next Thursday into our home.  I cannot even begin to tell you how God has provided every big ticket item that we needed for this placement.  Cribs, mattresses, car seats, high chairs, and on and on.  We have been "showered" without even having a shower which you don't usually get to do in a foster situation.  We did take a babies R us run last night because I wanted an Ergo, some Car seat protectors, and a monitor.  We hope to wait until the consignment sale next month and after we have the kids for a few weeks to see what else we might need.  I think all the basics are covered at this point.  God is so good to provide.  We have such an incredible support system here and abroad. Now, we just need to find some good babysitters, anyone, anyone? 

I'll post a cheat picture so you can at least see their sweet noses and mouths.  And Pat and Abe already almost had a full on nap time in "the chair" already.  I think "someone" will appreciate the chance to rock the baby to sleep so he can catch a few zzzz's as well. :)  Love it.