Twas the night before forever?

I remember laying awake in our upscale (well, Zhekazgan swank) hotel room that we rented the night before we got custody of Nick.  We wanted a good night's rest (very smart of us) before we entered the great unknown of parenthood so we rented a room at the best hotel and slept very well in a king size bed for the night.....our only good night's rest the whole 10 weeks....except for the nerves it was perfect sleep.....and then the last 5 years happened. Had we known what was ahead, we probably would not have slept so well.  God is good that way.

Now, we stand at the starting line of another forever, but it might not be forever, it might just be for now.  The not knowing about "forever" has been on my mind alot this week.  Our weekend overnight visit with the littles went really well.  They are easy.  They sleep well, they eat what you feed them, and at least for now, they are really easily entertained.  Nick LOVED them.  He was so excited that he actually was the one we kept having to calm down, quiet down, and make eat.  He read to them, played with them, sang with them, and made them laugh.  It was a sight to see.

Pat was the ultimate team player.  Seriously, all women should be jealous.  We would make these big messes with toys, food, whatever and I would go change a diaper, come back, and everything would be picked up, washed, etc.  It was awesome.  I really would not even be considering this without such a great partner. 

I really enjoyed having them in the house.  It did my heart good to see Nick with them....He could make Abe belly laugh for minutes at a time.   I have no doubts that he will have his moments of usual sibling stuff but he just beamed with their attention and smiles back to him. My favorite part was bedtime.  I love kids in pajamas.  We read books and said prayers and put them all in their beds.  Even with a little fussing (mostly Nick - ha!), everyone was in bed and asleep by 9.  All in all a very successful sleepover.  There will certainly be challenges.  Their nutritional deficiencies are huge.  Swallowing and tolerance of advanced textures were delayed and muscle control of arms, legs, and torso will need some work but we are excited to see how fast they improve in the next few months.

As I try to embrace my deep desire to live daily with the Lord, I have been surprisingly stress-free.  They are babies, they are easy.  well, at least compared to a certain other newly home crazed boy from afar.  My contemplations seem to be swirling in this foster vs. adoption arena.  I have been so overwhelmed with every one's sincere delight and excitement for us.  There is a part of me that keeps wanting to remind everyone that we are fostering for now....a part of me wants to hold back the celebration.  Of course, we hope to adopt but we may not know anything permanent for a year or so.  They could return home in a month, 6 month or the day before we celebrate a year.  It just is not known if this is "forever". 

Nick has taken quite a grown-up attitude and tells everyone that they will be in our family but only God knows if they will be our "forever" family.  I'm not sure he really gets it, especially after they could potentially be with us for quite a while and still return home.....But, he is all in. He is "the Big Brother".   Yes, we are a foster home for now.....but really we are just a home with lots of love to give away....Daily...  THIS is where my heart has been all week.  Seeking God's assurance that he really is going to take care of our hearts and sustain us daily.   He has loved us well thru this process.  His fingerprints are all over this journey right now. Our friends and family have loved us well also.  So, I'm going to let go and celebrate the fact that lots of people are going to love these two precious ones by acting crazy over them and us.  Everyone deserves to be celebrated.  I'm going to enjoy the ooohs and the aaaaws because we are celebrating Abe and Sarah. They are His created ones....fearfully and wonderfully made for a purpose and made to be loved.  My prayer is that the littles will be loved well because we too are being loved well.  I can rest in that tonight.  My brain may not shut off for a while yet but it will still rest in His love and purpose for me, for my family and for our new littles.  And, the next adventure begins.....